The past is a dangerous place to stroll.
A friend wrote
Don’t let your Mind Wander,
It’s too small to be out on its own!
Ha!
Should have listened.
Should have heeded.
Nope. I wandered.
I found A time capsule from way back.
Years ago.
All the thoughts of another me.
Recorded and saved.
To and from.
Small notes layered with meanings.
Now mostly forgotten.
But the Importance was still there.
Even without the understanding.
And that Importance hit me.
Hard.
All the ways I have done Wrong.
So fucking much.
I burn with useless regret.
Sure. I have mentioned
Shouldas. Wouldas. Couldas.
This is like that, only sharper.
Not only what is missed out on.
But what can never be.
The special moments.
Fragile and unbelievably Beautiful.
Not even seen at the time.
What am I missing tonight?
Will it tear that future me up
Tomorrow?
“That thought kind of turned me on, too,
Thinking of you looking at me
And that look you get in you eye”
Fuck.
All gone. All ruined. All poop.
Echoes that bring pain.
Deservedly so…
