Wave over Wave

Through loquacious outlets I have spun my tales.
Now the waves make the time slow to a tease.
Sprinkle it all with wishes saved from youth,
Memories of fireside smiles
That unconditional love
Which is family.
The holidays.
An excuse to live, as we should
Every day.
I see happy closeness
Food, cheer and thankfulness
As the man in black said,
And I mentioned before,
Nothing Feels Better Than Blood on Blood.
All is good.
Soon, I will be laughing with friends,
Sharing adventure and folly.
I guess I am feeling
Happy.
Chin up, Buttercup.

Casablanca Tomorrow

I must have seen more varied landscapes
Flow by from the window of a bus
Than most see in their entire lives.
At night the lights and hollows hide the plainness.
In the day it is just another rut.
More signs and more shit.
The neon and the billboards speak their plight
But the near familiar gives way to unwanted newness.
I see these trees and bushes and such.
The walkways remind you of others.
But nothing is the same.
The tastes bite back.
Smiles in other tongues.
I find the low places.
The Dirt and the Danger.
I don’t know if I need to
Or if it is just a weird bit of luck.
But the fear and then the excitement
What a rush.
“You played it for her, now play it for me.”

All And Nothing

Broken drifting times and memories.
Disjointed events and unknown horizons.
You can never return to what you left.
Neither is the same.
Sometimes you can’t even get to where you left to see.
Sometimes all you have is the journey.
Big skies.

Cartilage and Teeth.

Special moments are only so to those who feel involved.
Want to know something?
Great White Sharks are carried as eggs inside the mother, fertilized by the father using special flippers and then hatch inside the mother. There is no placenta or umbilical cord in there, so the newly hatched little sharks eat each other and any unfertilized eggs. Then the few survivors are born into the sea, ready to kill. This would explain why they are so mean! Hahah! Sharks are a very interesting creature. I could go on and on with cool shark stuff, but this main idea is that sometimes what we are is not only misunderstood, but the reasons for the properly understood traits might be deeper than we thought.
Heck.
I love sharks. They are cool. I am also sort of afraid of sharks. I had this sort of premonition that a shark would eat me. That was the way I would die. But then I joined the army and I remember thinking as we were training in a pool that, well, I might get shot but at least I will not be eaten by a shark. I felt like I had changes my destiny.
Then I switched over to the navy. And bingo. Now I spend a lot of time on the sea, and I know there are sharks around. I see the water, dark and powerful at night, and I can imagine what it would be like to be bobbing out there, in the cool embrace. And just waiting for that first nudge. Shivers. That sand paper skin sliding by you, so sleek and slinky. Unchanged for a hundred million years. Super killer. All speed and teeth. I wonder if I would have time to feel fear through the amazement and the excitement. Then the first bite. Maybe the only one, as the shark tried to decide if I tasted good enough. Just the get the blood flowing. To bleed me out. What a way to go.
In other news, all is chaotic. The worse feeling in my sheltered, safe, easy, nearly empty life is when I know I am not in the equation. When I am not in the main thoughts of those I think about. So evil. It is like some weird vampiric quality. To live off of the emotions of others. Love. Hate. Hell, it almost doesn’t matter. Just the attention. How pathetic is that?
So I wonder. And I think. And I know, as much as I know anything else, that the world has many a strange turn left to show. That is comforting. Either another brush with closeness and a few smiles which matter, or a quiet swim with some old buddies, hee hee. Whatever. I Just Want More Still.

Strange Rack Fuel

So I was sitting down to a fairly tasteless meal in the mess after watch when the big Sasquatch motherfucker next to me starts to let it out.
He says, “Rex, I had the weirdest dream. I don’t know if it is because of you and Gary [Gary and I play D&D and we talk about the games to the rest sometimes], but last night I had this horror dream. It was at this haunted house, and I was coming out of a crawl space and this thing was coming after me. It was a chick, with no legs, and a Medusa’s head, spitting at me. But she was like a doll. And she was chasing me. I stopped, turned around and told her that I knew what she wanted, that she wanted to Get Fucked! So I whip out my dick and the thing is, like, shying away, and I start to give it to this legless doll thing…”
.
.
Well.
I tell ya.
I didn’t know how to respond to that one right away!

Can't Understand

Nothing.
There is nothing except the dark needs tied up in lies.
To oneself.
To the world.
To the future.
Try to escape and see the bright hope,
But smashed back in so fast that
It almost doesn’t hurt.
I just want it all.

Lovecraft

That is not dead which can eternal lie.
And with strange aeons even death may die
“They were not composed altogether of flesh and blood. They had shape...but that shape was not made of matter. When the stars were right, They could plunge from world to world through the sky; but when the stars were wrong, They could not live. But although They no longer lived, They would never really die. They all lay in stone houses in Their great city of R'lyeh, preserved by the spells of mighty Cthulhu for a glorious resurrection when the stars and the earth might once more be ready for them
The secret priests would take great Cthulhu from His tomb to revive His subjects and resume His rule of earth....Then mankind would have become as the Great Old Ones; free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside and all men shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Then the liberated Old Ones would teach them new ways to shout and kill and revel and enjoy themselves, and all the earth would flame with a holocaust of ecstasy and freedom”.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn, which translates as In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.

Rack Fuel

Feeling the breaths move from forms and the streets with their alleys built to cradle. Quick calls for far away lust. Dreary boredom never gains a foothold. The lives are not to be shared by some, and not to be held to light. Dissected and equated. There are the usual protagonists and dealers of dreams. Wanted. So Wanted. Maybe it will all work out. But even if disaster and pain was inevitable, the lust and smiles would still try.
I gave a bum fifty euros, watched a wild weirdo attack a bar, tangled my limbs on the dance floor, and still my mind races with Fire.

Go Mouth Go

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you, and you may call me V.

Smiles Inside

Skin, needed, moves in my mind.
I can almost feel the warmth
Alone
In the darkness
Moving towards something
Heat laced with lust
What about the past
Is it ready to fade?
I am one lucky fool
But we will have to wait and see
Just how much
Funtimes.

Things; Old, New, Cold, Hot, Little, Big, and Me.

A mood sweeps through my head. I am wondering if I am choosing, trying to let something bother me. I wonder if this should bother me. Really, it shouldn’t. There is no reason. Then why is it? Maybe it isn’t. Shit. Wandering in circles in my head.
There are other, interesting things. Things. Good things. Like smiles, friends, sun, and the sea.
But there are bad things, though I seem to slip by them.
I am making no sense, and I think I am trying to vent, but it is difficult when you don’t know if you are pissed of or sad about something, and especially when you are sure that some of the things in your life are making you really happy. In a new, needed way. I feel that I don’t deserve certain things, good things. That is fucked. Why? Because I have done things? We all do. Have.
This is my worst post ever.
Poop.
I think I will just let this stuff slide out of my head and not work so hard at reaching for the old feelings of pain or regret and just relax, ha, and let the good stuff in.
There. I vented. And I don’t think I did a very good job of it.

When he is right, he's right.

“I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.”
-Blain Potvin
Hee hee hee.

Ride 'em!

Ok.
So a Poker player, his Wife, four Canadian Sailors and a Russian cutie walk into a bar.
No. There is no punch line, though there was much laughter!
Just another fun adventure-filled port on this sail.
This time it was in Crete. Nice place. I had been there before.
Excellent people, great food, good nite life and cool streets to wander.
The anarchistic traffic would make even the Road Warrior pause.
Now it will be a while before we are back to land, but that is good. Even a wanderer of life like me needs some time to regroup and reload. Oh. And work. I keep forgetting about that last part.
It is these little bit longer stretches that allow the brain to flow through memories and feelings.
Of people left at home, hoping they are happy and safe and know that they are missed. Of new friends, and how important they could become. Of old friends and why they fade or shine after a time.
But mostly, of how good life can be if you let it.
There is something on the horizon.
I don’t know what.
But I am looking forward to finding out.
Hot thoughts to all!

Teeth and Smiles

Special heat and frantic need.
These are the edges of my world.
There might have been more.
Or less.
Or nothing.
But now there is a peace
That comes with release
Of claws and hooks and reek
Some beauties fade to the beholder
And others never really take
Even if you try hard
From far off you can feel a change
A chance
Breezing and Light
What will it be
That next fills your
Night

Rapid Squirrel

Once more into breech.
Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of war.
All that good stuff.
Ah, screw it.
I admit it.
I do!
I am tired in ways I can barely know.
Something deep, deep down is broken.
I want to fix it.
I just haven’t had the time.
We will see.
For now, dice and laughter.
For later, endurance.

25 Minutes To Go by Johnny Cash

Well they're building a gallows outside my cell I've got 25 minutes to go
And the whole town's waitin' just to hear me yell I've got 24 minutes to go
Well they gave me some beans for my last meal I've got 23 minutes to go
But nobody asked me how I feel I've got 22 minutes to go
Well I sent for the governor and the whole dern bunch with 21 minutes to go
And I sent for the mayor but he's out to lunch I've got 20 more minutes to go
Then the sheriff said boy I gonna watch you die got 19 minutes to go
So I laughed in his face and I spit in his eye got 18 minutes to go
Now hear comes the preacher for to save my soul with 13 minutes to go
And he's talking bout' burnin' but I'm so cold I've 12 more minutes to go
Now they're testin' the trap and it chills my spine 11 more minutes to go
And the trap and the rope aw they work just fine got 10 more minutes to go
Well I'm waitin' on the pardon that'll set me free with 9 more minutes to go
But this is for real so forget about me got 8 more minutes to go
With my feet on the trap and my head on the noose got 5 more minutes to go
Won't somebody come and cut me loose with 4 more minutes to go
I can see the mountains I can see the skies with 3 more minutes to go
And it's to dern pretty for a man that don't wanna die 2 more minutes to go
I can see the buzzards I can hear the crows 1 more minute to go
And now I'm swingin' and here I go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!

Get the New Thing

You never can save it up and that is fine. Getting ahead is not really the goal. I have done some dumb things. Dumb. Yup. Anyone who really knows me could name a bunch. As with most, I am sure. We, that are still alive, are often lucky to be so. And building on that, I think I live a little lucky still. There are such vibrant pleasures in the world, each one so amazing that it almost shadows the last, that the pains and challenges are a small price in the bargaining.
Smooth Sailing.

All Over and All Around

I want to kiss.
Just kiss.
Long, deep.
Feeling tongue on tongue.
Holding close.
That would feel so good.
So special.
So human.

Throb

I am a bit tired.
Not really sleepy.
Sort of worn out.
Not really that tired.
All is good.
But just tired enough to notice it.
Maybe I have grown less tough.
I used to enjoy my resiliency.
But, now, I am tired.
Of hurting.
Of pain.
Of regrets and confusion.
But things are getting better.
I have done things.
Taken steps.
Walk, then run.
Waves over waves.

Thinking in Tongues

Sitting here watching
Little red numbers roll by
Wondering if you think of me.
“If you sit down with this old clown
I’ll take that frown and break it.”
Slow dancing in the dark.
Naked and Honest.
I am going to party in Brest, France now.
Hee hee.
He said Brest.

Fix

Many tiny pieces all scratched and saved.
Now again taken out and let to shine.
From damaged nights and vile mornings
Again can come the simple pleasure.
Of the here.
The now.
Insignificance is awe brining.
Breathe and See.

On the way to France.

Hee hee hee.
It has been a while since I posted.
Some of that was because I was busy,
And other reasons where that I was very free.
But now I am away, sailing.
Adventure and fun in foreign ports!
More to come.

In BC

I wish I could either kill the whole world or love everyone.
There are some people that I miss in ways I could not have ever seen.
There are others I work at missing, for no reason other than if I stopped missing them, I would forget.
And there are others that I try hard to ignore.
But those, like parts of one's own self, will not leave you alone.
Strangers offer Evil in smiles and streets.
Full fun nights and mornings.
Try to fill up hours of freedom. Go on. Try.
Basically, I feel the time.
And that is a rare thing.
Hey. Dont drink and Blog.
Ha!

Clean Morning 

Fond of Distance

Heart pumps. You can feel it. Way too fast
Faking that the brain is free.
Blood moves. Inside then out.
Ready for pleasure.
Disrespect was never meant.
Finding the whole thing mixed up with sneers.
Thoughts move through the streets.
Speaking dazed hints. Breaking and Taking.
Dancing without smiles.
Sometimes it is not enough to want.
These times you have to need.
Truth has always been the most naughty.

Yarrrrrrrr! 

Fire.

Burn little Fucker, Burn.
Feel the cool, enveloping flow
Of the gasoline.
As you dowse your whiney flesh.
Smile and reach for that pretty lighter.
Oh, so soon. Oh, so close.
Flick. Flick. Flick. Spark!
Whoooooosh!
The flames embrace is strong.
It won’t let you go.
You’ll never be alone again.
Hee hee hee!
But wait!
What is this new sensation?
Ouch! It is Real pain.
Oh! And you thought that heart in pieces
Hurt like a motherfucker.
But real life is far sharper
Than the little dramas
We get to experience
As a luxurious by product
Of our safe little lives.
So, endure.
Burn inside.
Like all fires.
It will leave once it’s fuel.
Has been All Used Up.

Filling the Spaces between the Rest 

Salt, Meet Wounds.

Flat dreams flaunt knowledge.
Keys of these tricks.
I Hurt those who Care about me,
And Care about those who Hurt me.
Kind of fair in the grand scheme.
Simple thrusts bring captured significance.
Late night jumps and early morning touches.
It all ends with a grin.
Locked on to hide the stunned façade.
The Sun and the Stars don’t agree.
Summer tones bring fresh wet saints
Long-limbed Holiness
Traveling the darkened street tombs
Absolution held in a touch.
Heaven in their attention.
And Hell, obviously,
In their Indifference.
Crushing weights
In all that the minds curls around.
We conjure our needs as well as our wants.
Unknown, we are sated.
With the Brilliance of centuries,
Wanting is the real Heart.

Here It Comes 

In My Mind

How does it happen like this?
You care, so much.
Then you mess it up.
And the way it cracks and breaks apart
Seems to guarantee nothing would ever
Heal.
Then a slight
Unexpected
Smile.
From so far away.
Felt in the heart
Like a horrible chance to again try
Because it is easy to just miss
To just regret.
But to think it possible
To again feel such
Unjustifiable Luxury,
It is a sick temptation
That can make a Fool
Out of a Dreamer.
I guess you just never fucking know.

Blue Night. 

Drive By

Bright smile in the quiet night.
But not for me.
Memories tell of that warmth.
Soft casual knowing touches.
Again, not for me.
I am the interruption.
Wanted to be gone.
Wanted not to happen.
I lost.

Shadowed Illumination 

Top Down Day

Negativity is the visitor of the weak.
Today’s bright show will be the Broken.
As the ruins rise and grope.
Seeing if the sun can burn together
What tired eyes fail to see
As dawn slipped in.
Again.
Who knows when it will find,
The end that must be there.
Interesting little views.
Beauty. Love. Evil.
I spent a moment on a couch.
And it was strange.
Alone.
When, as said, it would have been different.
I spent a moment on a phone.
And it was also strange.
Sorry.
And it couldn’t now have been any different.
Sweet moments.
How they change.
Us and Them.

Oh-Oh! Somebody is going to need a Cure spell! 

Smiles in the Dark.

How do I put this?
Basically, the importance of things change so vastly
So fully,
That it seems impossible that the original emotions
Or lack there of,
Could really have been.
But also,
And this is the part that tickles my brain,
Is that it was always known that it would be so.
Even as I pined for Love Lost,
I knew the time would come
When I just didn’t care anymore.
But it is still a nice surprise,
The freedom.
Add to that the Weird way life
Can throw some unexpected happiness
Some very needed closeness
Into your life
And it can make you feel sort of Wild.
Sort of Invincible.
I can smell the sunshine coming.
What an interesting summer this will be.

Keep Trying.  

Again and Again.

Effort.
While the world slides around.
Foolish endeavors by strange dreaming gods.
Steps through fire only to find emptiness waiting.
The crazy and beautiful seem to be torturous.
A combination of screaming claws.
Mixed with teary eyes.
Tears I put there.
How I would prefer those claws.
Is there a way, a real way?
To settle old debts and move on?
I roll dice, and I kiss luck.
But there isn’t enough karma
To wash away this burn.
To the few people that really matter,
I have been as ass.
But the worst is the knowledge.
That I knew.
Brains without action is useless.
Like a gun without bullets.
Pretty, but no bang.

Stretch.
 

Fast Thought.

You slide into a stop.
To increase the interaction.
With one little smiley thing.
But once there another jumps the tape.
Interfusing with the beat.
Still, the Shit was too sharp
Told that Times are the Boarders.
So certain pleasures.
Are unattainable treasures.
While the days finally fell away.
So far so good.
Another stupid self-loaded bullet.
Seems to have sped right by.
Knock on Wood.
Not to mention the strange new flow.
Of unknown destination.
Shadowed light show.
It can make you a little unsure,
When you can suddenly like,
More than you thought you could.
It makes you wonder.
What else you can do.

Imagine the Feel. 

Dreaming Real.

I was looking for an out.
A little release from my noisy brain.
The bottom, if you will.
Not really the bottom.
That is silly.
That is foolish.
But I went low enough, long enough.
Now I feel vindicated almost.
Like I did my penance and can now walk free.
Shit like that can warp your world.
I spoke my mind.
Sometimes too feely.
I have burnt more bridges,
Because I think I needed.
To see new shores through personal effort.
Flesh Under Skin.
All those little things.
All of them.
And the stars looked down.

Sad to See Her Go but Fun to Watch Her Leave. 

Endure.

Letting the fight against something leave you
Can take away that things power.
An example would be if something frightens you
And your energy is spent trying to pretend
That you are not afraid
You become a near slave to that effort.
But if you allow yourself to fully feel the fear
Even though it can be unpleasant
Or discomforting
The freedom you gain
By choosing honest feeling over
Lies of pride or Image
Can lead the way to passing through
To when you are no longer afraid.
Because all feeling can pass.
Eventually.
Not die, maybe.
But their power can fade.
So if fear knocks, let it in.
So that its fury can find itself spent
All the sooner.
This too,
Stays true.
For bloodied edged
Love.

Feel. 

Battle.

It is Ok.
To feel sad.
To feel used.
To feel remorse or confusion.
It isn’t something to hide from or be shameful of.
That is just life.
And as cliché as it seems,
Shit does Happen.
It is Ok.
Missing someone and knowing you shouldn’t.
Finding the hazy knowledge.
If you feel wronged by another.
By a past love.
You can look deeper.
See your own hand included in the cause.
Sort of lets you feel.
That you nudge your own fate.
More often that you think.
And whether you admit it or not.
Whether you wish to act upon it or not.
Love is love and our hearts don’t care.
They just keep on dancing.
Feeling those bone shaking beats.
And making you want to Sway.
So what do you do?
You Fucking Live!
You think and dream.
Breathe and seek.
And find that fun that is looking so hard for you.
Because we all have crap we have to carry.
And it is normal.
It is OK.

Away We Go 

Ode to Joy

That part always gets me.
It is the movie Immortal Beloved.
The last part, with symphony number nine.
And the magic the music holds.
The joy of life.
As seen by a young boy, and the old man he became.
The way life is good.
And we are all part of this big old universe.
The simplicity and grandness.
Both awesomely dwarfing and so reassuring.
That life is temporary and passing.
The young get old and the old die.
But it is the ride that matters, not so much the end.
The Joy of this ride we call life.
The pains we feel, large and small, are the price of the ticket.
And the nothingness is not to be feared.
It is the way we are part of everything.
When I say we don’t really matter,
I mean that we cannot matter more,
As we are part of it all.
And it, we, all, matters only as much as it does.
The joy flows. From love and smiles.
It is the goal.
Making disappointment and heartbreak all right.
The final ending for us is the same.
The amazing unknown.

Sex and Travel 

Brood

Sweet moments of lust can fall from thoughts.
Memories of bodies, moving together.
With purpose.
If the imagination is full of fire,
Lovers never part.
They just all fade into one.
Together.
What a wonderful madness it must be,
To live within imagination.
The rest of the fools.
Flesh hungry and alone.
Trying to know the right path.
As if we can choose.
I tried.
A few times.
Each time really thinking it was the right way.
But it has again lead to the nothingness.
Safe, easy nothing.
It would be sad, I guess, if it hurt.
But the worst of it is boredom.
Which doesn’t leave marks.
And is very treatable.
I wish I cared.
More.
Then maybe I would fight.
For something.
But, hey!
I already have the Nothing.

What are they thinking? 

Smile and Wave

Temptations are not just pretty images.
Or sweet smells, drifting in.
They are hints of what might be.
And they don’t just tickle our present needs.
They caress our memories.
Bring past moments of elevation
Back into our hearts.
Like that part in that song, Flower Duet?
So beautiful because it stirs something in us.
Already there and forgotten.
Just stored away. Waiting.
Then that uplifting angelic flow happens.
We feel the splendor.
But it from something that is of us.
Awoken. Allowed to feel. Again.
By those beautiful tones.
So much in life is like that.
True temptations guide us.
To the happiness we seek, need and deserve.
The other temptations are shadows.
Walk between the raindrops.

Sad Sweetness  

Importance Faded

Hearts, Romance and Caring.
Not things that matter only one day.
All those we care about must know it.
I hope so.
My mind has been in an odd place lately.
I find no momentum.
Where I used to store it.
Everything is a little slow.
I just need to heal and ponder.
Get back on that horse?
Or find a new beast of burden?
As long as I finally feel my brain relax.
Smooth out the rough spots.
Lets the scars scab over.
As I’ve read; When all else fails,
see them only at night
and blame it all on the moon.
For it was not into my ear you whispered,
but into my heart.
It was not my lips you kissed,
but my soul.
Love.
A powerful drug.
A sinful shudder.
And a full blast of heaven.
As it is seen, some thoughts stolen
Some reflections borrowed.
Darkness so bright, it shadows the hollows.

Well I was Born to have Adventure.

The flow of the split-brain soup.
Whiskey.
Bright, brown, sweet and cool.
Slandering through mounds of fluff.
I can see the windows, dirty, that shed the light.
Old days and new expectations.
Little Italian Fella.
Set of dice.
Some chaotic interaction.
Now, things have altered.
As they should.
As they must.
Like the Lady in the Sky.
Who too has come to earth.
We all remember the flights.
Of passion.
Of Moments.
I begged you to stab me.
My old friends, like the old me, are gone.
Dead as Dillinger.
We all move on.
We all alter.
Grow.
And, if we have lived right, even a bit, the passing is something to morn.
But Only Slightly.
For the new life is something to embrace.
All that about when I was a child and now that I am a man and all that.
So the old leaves and the new starts.
Good.
Fine.
Some things are not meant to roll forever.
All dice stop.
There is always a number.
Even if you never see it.
All truths and all ends.
As I hear it.
The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long.
Again, fine.
But it still reminds you of what you already knew.
That it is all a faded joke.
But at least it is still worth a chuckle.
The Hot Little Things in life cool off.
Or they seek other sources of warmth.
One should be thankful for the burn marks they leave.
I am.
I will always be.
Hell. As long as I have know the way I live,
I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.
And that thought, the effort I was going to feel,
Made me smile.
As I do now.
As I will long after the Chimps all leave the trees.

Special Creatures 

So there was this Apple, see?

Some sneaky Snake of malformed logic.
These twisted forms of fate.
Smirking little ass wipes.
Always out to take.
Every little holdout.
Of Love or Hope or Hate.
And the world just slips further.
As the seers do their shakes.
Cause some hurt and shiny Snake.
Can’t see past today.
And the needed interactions.
Never what you want.
But sniffing around the edges.
Anticipating a new fold.
To fully finally embrace.
Them that need the holding.
Even if a Snake.
Go boy,
Slither.

Sunny Future 

Rotten Fools

I guess we all have good and bad in us.
But some seem to truly be an angel and a demon.
Twisted.
With wonderful energy.
Letting you see the beauty in the world.
And then cheap shots and pettiness.
But, after a while, it just all blurs together.
Hey.
There will always be the good memories.
The fun times.
The smiles.
Kisses and more.
I’ll keep those thoughts, to warm me a little when I pause.
And I’ll let the rest fade away.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! 

Over the Line

Fucking shit.
Life can be so full of it!
Splashed on the corner stall.
Bright hurt flashes for us all.
Hated hearts still catching thoughts.
I don’t want to waste one more second.
Not on that which can’t change.
Not on that which is never to be well again.
Like fun filled plagues and pirate scurvy.
Some things are only pleasure when compared to worse.
I wait to find the purpose of the road.
If there is one.
And if not, all the better.
That will reinforce the obvious.
That the cracks are what is real.
The shadows and the pits.
Baring free the illusions of light and form.
Leaving the empty and the used.
Our loves, ash and muck.
The past a messy mark.
On an uncaring fist.
Poised to deliver.
When ever we foolishly dare.
To care.

The Truth on Lips is Hidden 

Rex Mix

An image of you and of me and we're laughing and loving it all.
Look at our life now, tattered and torn.
Oh baby just you shut your mouth.
When I'm with you baby, I go out of my head.
When it rains, you're shining down for me.
When I get excited.
You shouldn't mess with me.
I'll ruin everything you are.
So perhaps I should leave here, go far away
But you know that there’s nowhere that I'd rather be than with you here today.
All the things you do to me and everything you said.
You're like an angel and you give me your love.
Every time I think of you I know we have to meet.
Just like a rainbow you know you set me free.
It's in the whites of my eyes.
We fuss and we fight and delight in the tears that we cry until dawn
You say I'm a dreamer; we're two of a kind
Both of us searching for some perfect world we know we'll never find
You ask if I love you, well what can I say?
You know that I do and if this is just one of those games that we play.
It's getting hotter, it's our burning love.
I could escape this feeling. I feel a wreck. I hear her heart beating.
Loud as thunder.
So I'll sing you a new song, please don't cry anymore.
I'll ask your forgiveness, though I don't know just what I'm asking it for.
We slip and slide as we fall in love.
Saw their stars crashing down.
I could pretend that nothing really meant too much.

Could Not Help Myself 

Love that Sway

I need excitement and I need it bad!
Yahooooooo!!!!
I heard it said in the dark and horny corners,
That if you need it enough,
Really Need It
It is already out there looking for you!
Makes sense in a way.
I see what I Need almost everyday,
The Beauty.
The Heat.
Smiles that can make you disbelieve your own anger.
Eyes to tear holes in your pride.
Flesh to remind you that Hell can be worth it.
And the Touch.
Long lost.
But remembered.
Dreamt of.
I do a lot of stupid things,
But not as many as some might think.
Sometimes, it is part of a planned indifference.
My way of choosing a path,
Instead of following common sense.
Which, like reality itself, is a democratically birthed thing.
We all have our own personal It.
But the It of the world envelopes them all.
I guess.
Shit.
Like I understand!
All I know is that I Need a pair of long,
Silky nylon clad,
Black heeled ending,
Needing and undulating,
Sweet wet meeting,
Rex-Loving Legs
To wrap their glorious greatness around me.
And to pull me in to my one real goal!
The one thing that reminds me why we all give a shit.
Why it all really does matter.
Thank God for Chicks!
Even if they can drive you Fucking Mad!
Ok, I think I have quite lost it. Good night for now.
I think I need some private time!
Ha!

Feeling Time

It flowed passed me again.
The night.
Full of smoked eyes and pushed in hearts.
Scratches of Lied Passions leaving marks.
Telling stories of their passing.
And even though you want to care,
Really care,
All that spills out is sad laughter.
Cheap shots replace sweet whispers.
Angry glares instead of love filled eyes.
The heart gets scabbed over.
And the night still pulls you along.
You can see the ones already gone.
But also, there are the fresh ones.
New to it all.
And making it all new with their openness.
So I guess there is hope.
Which is a teasing possibility.
But the dark side of hope is that you know.
That there was a chance to be fulfilled.
Even as you fail.